Day four

Day four, July 12, 2011

Pull up a seat and take a deep breath because this is going to be a long one ladies and gentlemen.  How do I even begin to describe this adventure.  I guess we should start with the score: New Orleans: 1, Nomads: 0.    Someone please say multiple prayers for Vegas; if NO did us dirty I cannot even fathom what Vegas will do.  But we'll tackle that battle when we get there.  Upon our midnight arrival, we came to the agreement that we better order take out and stay in for the evening.  A good nights sleep is a requirement for going HAM in NO.  

After a little bit of grub, our heads hit the pillows and in a blink of an eye we were out like lights as mardi gras beads and hand grenades danced through our heads.  Cock-a-doodle-doo came and cock-a-doodle-doo went; oops forty five extra minutes of sleep never hurt nobody!  After a hearty breakfast we headed out to tour the streets of Nawlins! The first corner we came to was awesome, CVS on one side that not only sells toiletry essentials but alcohol as well. The opposite corner hosted a Jazz band with a dancer who's moves were comparable to those of the hip swinging couple back in Raleigh.  Two totally different genres of dance, so both receive a ten out of ten, hands down.  As we strolled down Bourbon Street my mouth was watering for a drink but I withheld knowing we would soon be going on a tour of Katrina's destructive path.  Instead, we browsed around and saved our livers until later.  We bought a self-guided CD that toured us through the Lower Ninth Ward where Hurricane Katrina hit the hardest.  The CD was narrated by people who were actually present for this horrific storm.  A few of them lost their homes in the process.  The effects were due to the fact that water breached five levees allowing over eight feet of water to damage or destroy over 204,000 homes.  More than 800,000 citizens displaced - the greatest displacement in the United States since the Dust Bowl of the 1930s.  The Super Dome housed over 20,000 people during these desperate times.  There were still hundreds of houses that are to this day vacated.  Many houses were completely swept away, leaving only the concrete base and the front steps.  On many houses there were big X's with numbers around them, this signified that the house was checked.  The date it was checked, the unit who checked it, and the amount of people found dead were what each number represented.  As we were driving around we saw countless volunteers as well as construction workers who six years later are still attempting to put their town back together again.  Once again we would like to send out our deepest apologies for all of the citizens who lost loved ones and their homes.  May God bless you all.  Best of luck with the remaining reconstruction.

After another somber afternoon of viewing the damage done by mother nature we came to the conclusion it was go time.  Game faces on and money in our wallets we hit the town and let NO do us dirty! We commenced the evening with twenty ounces of Hurricane Slushies.  Talk about a brain freeze! Rob and I thought it best to coat our stomachs with a piece of the nastiest pizza ever consumed in my lifetime.  But hey, foods food and when you're starving and about to declare world was three on your liver, you must put something in that empty pit.  Since NO is effin awesome we were allowed to walk the streets with our drinks as long as they were not in a glass container.  Our next stop was the Tropical Isle.  We planned on stopping in for one hand grenade in honor of Shari but two hours later we were tripping over our own feet trying to navigate our way back to the hotel.  Although warned that one hand grenade would be more than enough, especially combined with our other drinks and shots, Jennifer still thought it a good idea to have two hand grenades.  This resulted in her later chowing down on my leftover sandwich from thenprevious night.  Since I am such a great sister, I even took the liberty of picking the jalepenos off for her.  After a few shots and a hand grenade, we set off to make friends.  Naturally we are awesome people so everyone wants to be our friends.  We hit it off immediately with a couple from NORWAY!  So crazy! They were incredible people, Jenny and Jonna.  We were buying each other shots and drinks, sticking alligators in our bras and just enjoying ourselves!  In the midst of conversation we found out we were speaking with an A-list celeb!!! Jonna is a comedian back in Norway and would be considered as popular as Dave Chapelle!  Obviously I asked him to perform but sadly he only knows how to say them in Norwegian. :[ We did learn how to say pre game and after party in Norwegian, that was a plus!  Jenny was an amazing dancer, whipping her hair around like she was one of Hugh's bunnies.  After Jenny's one woman show, it was my time to shine!  My love of dance and a lot of liquid courage helped to bring out moves I never even knew I had in me!  Don't ask me to repeat them, because to be brutally honest the margarita erased all memories of my show.  I distinctively remember seeing a balled up dollar on the floor towards the end of my routine, incontestably I picked it up and later used it to tip the nice black man wearing a white suit that Jen and I took a picture with.  Rob informed me that it was thrown down by an old man and actually hit him in the head!  As non chalantly as possible, so people wouldn't conclude that he was throwing dollars at his sister, he tossed the rolled up ball on the floor by my feet. LoLz!  I'm not sure but I may have earned that dollar as a result of the wind blowing my skirt up, oops! Sorry daddy!  After my little performance we thought it'd be best to go back to the room to freshen up before our dinner date with Jonna and Jenny.  Double fisted and quite buzzed we made our way back to the Hampton.  Not before stopping to take pictures with a couple of Jefferies along the way.  J, being a teacher and knowing that sharing is caring,  was  kind enough to share her margarita with one guy! Unfortunately we had to discard the straw, he took it upon himself to use it.  Robert was not pleased about this decision, he just shook his head in disgust and snatched the straw out of her cup.  This man was so thankful for Jen sharing her drink that he kept kissing her forehead and in the process left his face paint trailed across her head! Rob and I let her walk all the back to the hotel like that hahah!  Upon our return to the room, Jen dashed for the refrigerator and immediately  heated that sucker up and chowed down on my sandwich from the night before.  

After a quick Mexican shower and a wardrobe change we set off to meet our friends for dinner! We taxied it up seeing as we were already buzzed and would have taken twice as long to walk there.  We enjoyed some delicious jambalaya and teryaki steak with our new friends!  The bar at the restaurant was so cool, instead of bar stools there were tire swings!! Of course Jen and I made sure our personal photograph snapped our photo.  Full tummies and few more drinks deep and we were ready to be steamrolled by Nawlins! The first place we hit up was the Absinthe House.  We were expecting a good time but it was pretty lame.  The bartender was not ready for Jersey style drunkeness.  C'mon dude, you're a bartender in New Orleans, shape up!  So off to bar two we went and $26.00 poorer Rob and I had drinks in hand once again!  By this time J moved onto water, she couldn't hang with the big guys any longer!  Although I was extremely jealous this morning when I rolled out of bed and immediately ran towards the Tylenol and agua. But that's besides the point.  Anyways, back at the bar, the band started to play Michael Jackson and you better believe I was out on the dance floor in a flash.  You can just call me the dancing queen!  Next came bar three along with a little bit of bull riding.  Okay, okay, maybe seven times on the bull is not a "little bit" of bull riding.  Jen hopped on first and got her 5 seconds of fame.  No, really, she only lasted five seconds LoLzz!  I guess everyone can't be professional mechanical bull riders!  Next up was me, and baby I rode that bull like a regular cowgirl!  I lasted about 25 seconds!!  It's all in the thighs girls! Get on up there, hold on tight and squeeze your thighs with all you got!  Jonna was up and Jonna was down, good try buddy, maybe you should just stick to telling jokes.  $5 later and Roberto was ready to go.  It's a shame he didn't bring his cowboy hat because he would've looked official!  It was a close race between Rob and I, we'll have re-watch the videos in order to figure out who the champ was.  Yes, yes, there is video footage!  It will be on Facebook later tonight.  Seven rides and bruised thighs and I called it quits or maybe the guy operating the bull did?  Last but not least came Deja  Vu Showgirls. We were classy enough to go to a strip club; we were in New Orleans, anything goes.  We paid our fee but not before the gentleman asked if Jen would like to dance for them tonight for a free entry for the group. Could you believe she didn't even think it over for a minute?!  A quick no and thirty dollars later we were on our way upstairs to the balcony to throw beads down to the passer byers.  Naturally we made friends with people on our balcony and the balcony across the way and were tossing beads from one balcony to the other.  J approached a friendly man and in her damsel in distress voice asked if he could spare any beads.  To her surprise he handed her an unopened bag containing close to 250 strands of beads!!! This was so exciting, the mother load was upon us and we felt like kids in a candy shop! I was daintily throwing the beads down to drunkies but Robert on the other hand, or should I say Mark Sanchez, was pelting people in the head with beads! One girl was not too pleased when Rob hit her smack in the head.  While threatening to call the cops Rob fired another one down there. Bulls eye! Right in the head again, 5 points for Rob!  While Jen and Rob were having fun throwing beads over the balcony I wandered inside to allow my new friend to buy me a Jack and coke, bad news bears.  I woke with half a glass of jack and coke next to my bed.  While inside mooching off my new friend I spied a guy with a shirt saying "I'm on a boat mother f**ker", of course I asked if I could take a picture with him.  Unfortunately in my drunken state I only captured "I'm on a boat".  After my photo opp I made my way back outside and we thought it'd be best to head back seeing as we had an 8 hour ride to Dallas the next morning.  I wasn't advised until the this morning that before departing I gave my number to one of my balcony friends. I hope he never attempts to get in touch with me...  Anyways we said goodbye to our Norwegian friends that we will probably never see again, and teeter tottered our way back to salvation.  I literally hung onto Rob's arm the whole walk back.  Between my bruised thighs and four inch heels I was having a rough time.  We ascended the seven floors to our room, basically fell into bed and luckily fell asleep before the spins could begin.  New Orleans received 3 thumbs up and 5 stars!  Nawlins you may have done us dirty but gosh darn it you showed us a great time!  Peace, love, and happiness, the Nomads.